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Pres. DVSMaStA
Member STP827 Member Brando Member Bails Member Haywater  |
Bigger. Better. Same sentance? *~kraziechic~* November 30th 10:40 P.M. Archives "Bigger is better" Ok, most of us women folk agree with that statement to some degree (if you get my drift), and if you don't...well then I'm sorry to hear that you are a retard. And I guess Sir Mix A Lot thinks bigger is better, cuz he "likes big butts"...But seriously, "bigger is better" what crack head came up with that? It was probly the same moron that you see driving around in a fancy little sports car. (key word: little, not BIG) If big is so much better, why doesn't everyone go buy a semi-truck, or a bus to drive to work every day? And when they get to work, why is their cubical little, not big? Ok, lets think about this, would you rather be bitten by a big dog or a little dog? I hope you said little, or else you deserve to be bitten by a big dog. I hope you can all see why bigger is NOT better. And for all you idiots who still think bigger is better, well get out the restraints, and lock yourself up really tight, before you hurt youself or someone else by trying to do big things with your small mind. The incident *~kraziechic~* November 29th 10:17 P.M. Archives Hi all. The funniest thing happened today in Biology, and I just have to tell all of you. Ok, my friend is sitting there at the end of the day, running off of 2 hours of sleep, and she rested her head on the table we was sitting at. She was still awake, and listening to everything he said. Well the teacher thought she was sleeping. (Note: this teacher hates when people fall asleep in his class) He came by the table with a yard stick, and smacked her in the butt. Well, she knew he would do that, and she i guess she wanted to get back at him for doing it to her all the time. She fell off her chair, and hit the floor, *OUCH* and laid there like she was dead, waited a while, and then opened her eyes. The look on his face was PRICELESS! She jumped up and said, "thought you were in trouble, didn't ya!" and the class started rolling with laughter. Maybe you had to be there, and maybe it's just me, but her little episode was pretty funny. Oh, and I don't think he'll be hitting our butts anymore when we're tired. Speed limit signs, magazines, news papers... Why does everything have a white background with black letter? The idiotic american (thats just for you DVSMaStA) that came up with that bright idea must have either lacked in creativity, or like the idea of inkblot pictures a little too much. Personally I think that it would be a lot more effective if they used a brighter, or a prettier combo of colors, especially on speed limit signs. (Maybe then the cops wouldn't spend so much time getting to know me) As for magazines and news papers they aren't as bad, because they usually have dumb little pictures to take your mind of the pointless words on the page. Ok that probly made no sense to you "normal" people...but what is normal? There is really no set standard, is there??...oh nevermind...I'll save that for another day. A break from BS... DVSMaStA November 28th 11:25 P.M. Archives Thats right, i'm sorry. I don't have time to really write any BS for the page until around sunday. Why you ask? I have Basketball games on Thursday, Friday and Saturday. A break from reality... DVSMAaStA November 28th 11:37 P.M. Archives (Reuters)- The Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi asked that Gore and Bush share the presidency to spare the United States another civil war. Read more...-(Excite news) This one is good. This leader actually thinks that there is a risk of a civil war. Does he really believe that the people of america really care THAT much that they'd start a WAR over the election? Although, myabe americans are that dumb. Break up one of the most profitable countired in the world. What a joke. Muammar, you sure do crack me up. HAHAHA! (Reuters)- A hotline setup in Germany to help with questions over mad cow disease collapsed after too many calls. Read more...-(Excite news) Oh thats good. A hotline in Germany had problems after too many calls came in, so it could be reached for awhile. Does this deserve merit on a page such as this? YES! There are two reasons. Reason one: It deals with cows, which is a really cool subject, even at parties! Reason two: This is the home of the MLA and cows, of course, are the main course of MLA members. Welp, thats enough, later. A break from reality... *~kraziechic~* November 27th 10:52 P.M. Archives Hi all! The original author of the daily BS is busy doing homework, and he asked me to do this...so here goes nothing... You all know those "poor me" stories in magizines like Seventeen and YM. Well, I dunno about you, but I hate them! All they try to do, is get you to feel sorry for either someone who can't walk right, or is too dumb to keep their new boyfriend/girlfriend away from their strange family. There is also an occasional "I am so dumb that I should be kicked off earth" story. They don't just automatically come out and say that, but they might as well. I mean come on, lets get really embarrassed because we are stupid, and then go and tell the whole world about it. How retarded are some people?? If you were offended by that, how bout you just cry me a river, and then go jump in it!!! Oh, and if you're stupid enough to take me literally on that, well then I hope you can't swim. Howdy! DVSMaStA November 27th 11:06 A.M. Archives Howdy? What the hell is that? This is the twenty-first century Boy! We don't use such primative words such as the likes of howdy. We use, Sup, Yo or maybe even the ocasional Duuuude! Ahh yea, here in the Twenty-first century we have come to surpass the old ways of cowboys and horses for cars and whores. No, i'm not going to talk any more about whores. Back to the point. In the above update, you will see that my name is not listed in the heading. Thats right, I had a friend write an update for me. As you can see, it is her first time. I feel that she will get the hang of it. Her topic was BEAUTIFUL! If she would of expanded into why the "Why Me" section, it would have been top class. I give it a 6 out of ten. Her advising people to come right out and admit that they are so dumb they might as well be kicked off the earth might actually affect the upcomming mail to the magazines. Next thing you know the heading for YM will be, "I'm an Idiotic American that should be kicked off the Earth" Below it will be, Can you help me? NO I CAN'T HELP YOU! Face it, your an idiotic american that isn't worth the shit you excreate and maybe you really should be kicked off the earth. Well, that sums up my update as well. Mail Bag! DVSMaStA November 26th 11:59 A.M. Archives What a good way to start out. A litte email from a most prestigious reader. Sender: Kelvin Ali Alright. First off, I said "I feel for all those guys who have an older sister living in the house still." Not "i feel for a sister living in da house". Oh yea, I do have a girl friend. One more thing, she is far from a bitch. Oh yea, i'm the idiot? Look at your spelling and sentence structure bud. I'd advise going back to Elementary to re learn your English Grammar. Anyway, good luck to you. Hahaha... Glorious day! DVSMaStA November 23rd 8:51 P.M. Archives Not only is it Feast on the dead turkey day, but today is the day I helped move my sister out of the house. She will be out of the house by tomorrow. I feel for all those guys who have an older sister living in the house still. Its a real pain in the ass. I'd also like to take the time to say, HA! I don't have to live through it anymore! Thats all this update was really about. I have a very busy weekend, so expect updates to be on the short side. Right. DVSMaStA November 22nd 8:33 P.M. Archives Sorry about not updating in fovever. Moving on to business. I am going to trash this page. What will be in its place? DUnno. Thats where you come in. Email me your suggestions on what to put there. Be it a plain, boring portal, DVSMaSTA's Corner, or something totally different. The elction is a joke. Thats all I have to say about that. A little stroll.. Part II! DVSMaStA November 22nd 8:59 P.M. Archives "Welcome to McDonalds. May I take your order?" "Hi" "Hello" *looks at the line in front and behind him* "Yea. You busy?" "What was that?" "Aproximatly how many fries come in a small, medium or large french fries?" "As many as we can fit" "Where are the fries on your menu?" *looks at the bottom middle of the menu and finds it" "I can just tell you the prices." "Okay" "Medium is *blah* Large is 1.55 and supersize is 1.75" "That much for fries? Wow. *waits awhile* I'll take a large" *waits about 3 min.* "Hello?" "Hi" "Did ya get that?" "No, we were switching head sets." "Yea. I'll take a large fries" "Okay. That'll be 1.65" "woa. Hang on, you said it'd be 1.55" "There's 10 cents tax." "Ten cents! Geez. Thats like 7% tax!" *supervisor chimes in*"Its 6.5%" "Well, still. Alright, thank you." *pulls up*"that will be 1.65 please (lady this time)" "Okay" *puts it in park, turns on dome light and searches for change. "There 25... 50.. 75.... a dollar. *pulls out straw wrapper* here. And 25... 50.. Lets see, a dime.. and a knickle! There ya go." *lady grabs bag* "Here you are." *opens up bag and searches real fast* "Can I get some ketchup with that? Oh, and some slat too." *lady grabs 5 ketchups and 2 salts* "I only need 3 ketchup packets. Thank you. Oh yea, could you tell *blah* high for me? Thanks" Is this a true story? yes Did it happen tonight? UUU... Yes This did happen tonight. Gotta jet! Later. A little stroll.. DVSMaStA November 15th 8:23 P.M. Archives Alright, I was sittin around before class and a guy was talkin' some shit to a girl. The teacher responded by telling hi mto stop that, and telling him that women should be respected. Directly after that I said, and I quote, "Thats why guys stare at them" *falls to the floor laughing his ass off* Alright. Maybe you had to be there. It was great! Enough of the stroll, lets get on to something else... Taking a toll... DVSMaStA November 15th 8:46 P.M. Archives I have yet another comment about the election. Yes, the presidential election 2000. Thats right. You ready? wanna hear it that bad? Why are you reading this when its right in the paragraph below? *Psst.. i know why, but won't tell! Wouldn't the people of palm beach feel really stupid after messing up on such a plain as day voting ballot? Its amazing that they would come out in the open and pretty much ASK the people of the country to call them mentally challenged. The flippin' arrow pointed directly to the correct canadites. If the people voted wrong, or twice, it was most likely because they didn't take enough time and review the ballot. Thats all they needed to do. Alright, enough on the election. BS for YOU! DVSMaStA November 15th 9:07 P.M. Archives Have you ever noticed that the ammount of time in the day seems to be getting smaller all the time? Its almost as if ghosts come into your house, take the time to change all the clocks by at least a few seconds (most commonly ever hour, in fact) and then leave. Doesn't it seem that way? I have soo many things I could be doing that I don't know what to do. I'd say I waste a good hour or two just figuring out what to do next. I hope none of you out there ever get to this point where you are just lost and have no idea what to do anymore. You really feel helpless. What you lookin at! DVSMaStA November 13th 11:03 P.M. Archives *a clerk stamps a peice of paper* "There you are aproved to move all your current shit to the archives." "Why thank you so VERY much." Yea, thats right, I moved all the *good* election stuff and all other non-essential jabbering to the archives. Go ahead and check them out. Mail bag! DVSMaStA November 13th 11:03 P.M. Archives That right, there reall is something here called the mail bag. Not that I EVER get any mail. At least none worth posting. Finally, someone came to my calling and emailed me. Here it is. Sender: Josh B. Subject: make my day! DVSMasta, I am a deeply dedicated member of your site, and I'd like to say that "a little bs" every day just really makes my day complete. So in short, thank you DVSMasta, for giving everyone "a little BSevery day! Well, lets see here. I'd just like to say, for those american idiots everywhere, including idiotic founding fathers of this country, I galdly do my BS section and with pride, too. I'll tell ya right off the bat. Its not easy to make BS sections that are worth a hoot. That right, worth a hoot. I mean tear em' up, rough riding kick the livin' shit outta ya kind of BS. Let me warn you now, that kind of writing is not for the common idiot. That pretty much takes care of all of America, and a portion of Europe too. So i urge all you that ever THINK about writing BS for any publicized source, make sure you know HOW to bs. Alright? Its not like us BS writers just sit on our asses (we do), drink Mt. Dew by the gallons (do that too), attempt to correct our misspellings 9 tenths of the time we right (believe me, we do), take a break to go play a game (that too), and then come back and finish it and alway remember to put a wrong date in somewhere or mess up some statistic elsewhere. (wait, we do that one as well) Alright, maybe it is a bit easier than I make it to be. Oh well, I do just because I can! So there! Hope you liked that *professional* BS section there, Josh. Peace out! ~ |
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